Thomas Robert Bednark

Thomas Robert Bednark
May 5th, 1946-December 9th, 2021

Thomas Bednark passed away peacefully in his home in Aurora, Colorado on December 9th, 2021. He is survived by his wife Cora and his children Cassidy & Cameron. Here's a collection of memories written by Tom's son Cassidy:

"It is with a heavy heart that I share some very sad news. On Thursday, December 9th. 2021 my father Thomas Robert Bednark passed away at the age of 75. As of this moment there are no concrete plans for a service, but we will be having a celebration of life (or two) in the coming months. For my taste, an "obituary" is neither the right word nor the right tone for a man as dynamic as my father. Let's celebrate his spirit with a "collection of stories".

Tom Bednark was the life of the party. When he walked into a room he owned it, and everyone knew it. You know that indescribable "it" quality? Few people have ever had it in the way my father did. Good god was that man charming. You couldn't help but be drawn to him. Everything that came out of his mouth made us laugh. Where did he get this charisma? I honestly have no idea. For a lack of a better way to put it, you simply have to be born with it. There was a reason the legendary Peaceable Kingdom softball team all wore shirts that said "I know the old pro". And you guessed it, my father was the old pro. Many, many people knew my Tom in this capacity, but to start the story talking only about his larger-than-life personality may not paint the entire picture...

Tom was born in Buffalo, NY in 1946. Many people romanticize how hard they had it as kids, but I'm telling you in no uncertain terms -- Dad had almost nothing growing up. To be honest, my father didn't talk about his upbringing too much. I never got the impression that he was ashamed, I think he just wasn't the type to fish for sympathy. He didn't speak ill of his parents, but at the same time he never reflected on them glowingly either. I think there was a lot of tough love in the household, and I know for a fact his older sister was a bit of a bully. There were emotional struggles, physical struggles, and financial struggles. The Polish hoods of New York were no joke. My father often had to "fight" his way to school ie. he literally knew to-and-from school it was a given he was often going to get jumped, and learning how to fight back was his only way to survive.

Adversity has a way of defining people. You succumb to it, or you use it as fuel. Tom Bednark did the latter. By the time he graduated high school Dad was a three sport all-city athlete. Right handed pitcher, Running Back, Point Guard. After his senior year at Maryville High School Tom was drafted in the 47th Round of the Major League Baseball draft by the Philadelphia Phillies. He was also offered a full scholarship ride in baseball, football, and basketball to a number of schools, ultimately deciding on Syracuse University. Off to Syracuse he went. After realizing the size and the speed of the guys on the football team, he decided in the interest of self-preservation to stick with Baseball & Basketball. Good choice Dad. At least he got to take a Ballroom Dancing class with Larry Csonca to help buffer his grade point average (some things are too ridiculous to make up). Tom lettered in baseball and basketball. If my memory serves me right, his senior year the Syracuse Basketball team featuring the likes of NBA Hall of Famer Dave Bing & Jim Boeheim reached the Elite 8. Maybe even more impressive, the kid from inner city Buffalo got his college degree when it was all said and done.

The late 60's/early 70's were a wild time. Dad grew hair as long as his waist, and it was glorious. Remember the group Iron Butterfly? My father spent a summer as their tour manager during the height of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" (again, you can't make these things up). Woodstock? Better believe he was there. Incredibly, Dad once told Cameron and I that we went on a date with Carly Simon. Is "You're so Vain" about him? The world may never know. Eventually, like any good hippie, Dad made his way west to a magical place that embodied all the beliefs and the lifestyle of the era: Boulder, Colorado. Here's a factoid for you, Tom's Peaceable Kingdom custom high end furniture company was the 2nd storefront in the history of Boulder, within walking distance from The Walrus right there on Walnut Street. As fate would have it, this was also the time that Tom would reconnect with my mother Renee. Oddly enough, while they did both attend Syracuse together, coming together in Boulder was a chance occurrence. Whatever was going on with the sun, moon, and stars during that time worked. I was born in 1975, Tom and Renee were married shortly thereafter. It only occured to me later in life that getting pregnant with me might have something to do with the marriage, but that's purely speculative. LOL.

By the turn of the decade Cameron entered the picture and we were rocking-and-rolling nuclear family style. My father was incredible with kids. Not only with Cameron and I, but the children of our extended circle of friends absolutely loved Dad. He'd read us all stories, he roughhouse with us. That guy could relate to kids like no other. It's incredible how many of my buddies that grew up during that time have the strongest, fondest memories of Dad. It all came so naturally to him. Man did he show up. I'll always be thankful for how invested he was, how present he always was. When my father committed, he went for it. Plus, he was cool. He'd be the first on the block to buy the best sound system. The first to overpay to get a VCR when the technology came out. He liked to entertain, to put it modestly. I distinctly remember parties at our last that would last for days. This is not hyperbole. I'm telling you people would stay over at our house drinking Budweiser, doing who knows what else, for days at a time. Not to sound overly nostalgic, but things were different back back then. Let's just say one of my first vivid memories is a softball roadtrip that involved Dad and his buddies having too much to drink and hurling plush softballs out the window (names shall be redacted to protect the innocent, but you know who you are). There's a rumor about pouring Spaghetti over a white limo. I'm not condoning this behavior, I'm just saying in retrospect knowing nobody got hurt it makes me giggle thinking about the crazy, reckless stuff that went on.

Fast forward to the 90's. The final summer before high school my Dad taught myself, Ananda, & Jia how to play APBA Baseball. APBA is basically a board game where you roll dice to simulate baseball games. It sounds boring I know, but boy did we love that silly game. We played it night and day for months on end. The fact that Dad was able to pass along a tradition from his upbringing to the next generation in a fun way was such a fitting tribute. Until the end my father never hesitated to remind Jia that he "owed him a refrigerator full of Pepsi" as payback for eating and drinking all of our food that summer. By this time Tom had transitioned into real estate and coaching. Seeing how much he meant to so many young ball players truly was a gift, plus a perfect continuance of the trajectory of his life. Getting to play basketball for my father at Boulder High was one of the great joys of my lifetime.

Eventually my mother and father would decide to no longer be together, but of course they did everything to make Cam and I feel loved throughout the process. As a broke, recent college graduate my Dad welcomed me with open arms into his new home. One morning, much to my suprise, I stumbled into the kitchen to find a lovely woman wearing one of my Dad's T-Shirts. At the moment, all I knew was that Tom had madd game. Little did I know that I was staring across the room at his forever partner, Cora. It didn't take long for Cora and Tom to realize what a wonderful fit they were for each other, and they were soon married. Tom & Cora have been together since. To the surprise of nobody, Dad dove right into protecting and caring for his new family members with every ounce of his being. More recently Tom evolved as always. He founded and has been operating Colorado Youth Basketball, a non-profit organization dedicated to giving kids an opportunity to play hoops. For almost two decades Dad successfully operated youth basketball leagues and tournaments, with a particular emphasis on providing scholarships and fee forgiveness for teams in lower income areas. Surprising? Of course not. Right on brand.

Here's another personal thing about Dad -- you know he really likes you when he starts talking trash in your direction. His friends know it. All my friends know it. My wife Madisson found this out the hard way during a rousing Nintendo Wii digital bowling tournament. Welcome to the family baby. Speaking of family, it makes my heart so happy to know that Dad got to see Cameron and I both get married and experience grandkids. He was literally with Violet and River Wednesday, and they went back for goodbye hugs over and over. It's almost like they knew.

I've spent my entire life trying to be like my father. It's an impossible standard to ever reach, but I know that even the process of trying makes me a better person every day. Thank you for teaching me so much. I've never known a more magnetic, compassionate, self-made, selfless, beautiful person. I love you so much."